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Dear Friend,
It seems impossible, but Thanksgiving has come and gone and signs of Christmas are beginning to appear. I begin this season’s newsletter at the Halifax airport — my darling and I are on our way to New York, on the final leg of a trip that has taken us from Vancouver to New York, Halifax to St. John’s, and back to Manhattan.From a Financial Serenity point of view, it has been an inspiring, illuminating adventure. My partner is fond of luxury, and this trip has been his treat to me. We’ve dined in dizzyingly upscale restaurants and seen Broadway shows, a taping of the David Letterman Show, a brilliant jazz performance at Lincoln Centre and all the sights that can be seen in four days of walking, metro-riding and cab-hailing.On the third day of this whirlwind of delights, rushing out the door to one more amusement, I had to confess: I just couldn’t keep up the pace. We were both overtired, over-stimulated and fighting colds. In the midst of so much, I had temporarily forgotten that my primary responsibility in this grand adventure we call life is to slow down to the degree that I can savour each moment and show up as my best self. That simply isn’t possible when the pace is too hectic, no matter how pleasant the diversions. (We arrived in St. John’s just in time.)Financial Serenity doesn’t have a universal definition, because it is different for each one of us, as individual as our fingerprints. But if I were to make a sweeping generalization, I would say that it is the opposite of the state I briefly found myself in during our trip to Manhattan. It is the condition of being fully present to enjoy life, free of anxiety, exhaustion and scurry. It is knowing what sustains you, and how to incorporate it into each day. It is having a vision of what you’re here to do and be, and using money consciously, as a servant of those dreams and values. It is the state of conscious gratitude.
‘Well, yes,’ you might be asking — ‘but how will this help me pay my mortgage?’ Here’s the key: when you live in the state of grace that is Financial Serenity, the money issues you face today will either resolve or become irrelevant. Money becomes your servant, not your master.
When you’re living the Financial Serenity path, you’ll be able to approach the inevitable financial challenges that life sends our way in the way that artists view the paintings they have yet to to paint and composers view the symphonies they have yet to write.
The first step in that transformation is a brave and honest analysis of your relationship with money. What did your childhood teach you about money?
What behaviours were modelled for you?
How has the behaviour you witnessed shaped your beliefs today?
Do other people have different beliefs, and as a result, different realities?
Next is the acknowledgement that you have the freedom to choose, and that your choices – not your past – will shape your future life.
How are your beliefs working for you?
It isn’t a metaphysical question. Our beliefs determine our behaviour. Our behaviour determines our future. It’s as simple — and profound — as that.
Once you are ready to begin reframing your beliefs — and transforming your financial future — consider printing and completing the exercise below.
Financial Serenity is yours the moment you choose to change your belief system. But to maintain it – to live in that state of grace – you’ll need to keep your new belief system at the centre of your consciousness, and use it to inform all your financial decisions. (We know that the first 28 days will be particularly difficult, because you’ll breaking old habits, and that always feels uncomfortable.)The depth and breadth of your prosperity will be determined by your focus. But once those deeper transformations take place, adopting practices that make the practical stuff easy is a natural progression, and we’re here to help along the way.
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Is junk spending harming your financial health?
Financial Serenity isn’t about deprivation. Just as you’ll never diet your way to vibrant good physical health, you can never deprive yourself into financial health. And just as we need to cleanse our diet of ‘junk’ food that is toxic to the body, we need to cleanse our spending of ‘junk’ expenses.
Here are some of the more common ‘junk’ expenses I’ve come across in my client’s spending patterns:
Empty, expensive habits:
The occasional egg-nog latte is a treat, but having one every afternoon is a habit. Eating out once a month is a treat; eating out four times a week, a habit. If you are looking for ways to re-align your spending, examine your habits first. Are you feeling the love? If not, consider elevating the experience from habit to treat again by making it occasional.
Unconscious status spending:
There was a time I spent $155 and two hours every three weeks to have my hair done. My reasoning? I could. I had the money, and more expensive must be better, right? But – being who I am – I understand today that I would have felt a thousand times better using that money as a contribution to my children’s education accounts or donating it to a charity.
Whenever you buy something because of its brand name or because ‘it’s the best’ – examine your satisfaction. Does this spending fulfill you?
“Bad” spending:
One of my beloved clients coined the term, and I haven’t been able to come up with anything that improves on it. Bad spending is anything that saps your money energy without giving you any pleasure whatsoever. The long list includes parking tickets, traffic tickets, paying more for insurance than you have to, unnecessary bank fees such as off-brand ATM charges, interest charges on consumer debt, any penalties you pay for late payment, the difference in price between the lot you park and the least expensive lot within walking distance, and so on.
Start now to cleanse your financial life of junk spending, and you’ll find that your money energy increases – you’ll have more at the end of the month, and you’ll feel better about the spending decisions you make.
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Save money, save the planet, enjoy cleaning your home
One of the most pleasant ways I know to save money is to keep as many cleaning chemicals out of my home as possible.I’ve always felt badly about sending those harsh cleaners into our water systems, but I’m a bit of a tidy freak and simply didn’t know the alternatives. Now I save more than $100 a year and help preserve our amazing planet — while saving myself from harsh smells, rough, red skin and the long-term effects of chemical exposure.Here are some of the cleaning strategies that have worked best for me — I hope they’ll work well for you, too.
~ Mix one cup vinegar with three cups water in a spray bottle. Before using any other cleaner on glass, in the bathroom or the kitchen, spray with vinegar/water mixture, let rest a few minutes, and then wipe with a wet or dry, absorbent cloth. You’ll be amazed how often you don’t need anything else.
~ To polish wood furniture, mix the juice of one fresh lemon with twice as much olive oil. Sweep on liberally with a clean cloth. Let rest a few minutes and then wipe down firmly, removing as much oil as possible. My wood furniture looks fabulous and smells divine.
~ To scour sinks, tubs, shower stalls and pots, sprinkle baking soda. Let rest a few minutes (are you seeing a theme here? While you rest, focus on your breath for a mini-meditation) and then scrub into paste with a mesh sponge. Rinse. (For really nasty stains, use half a lemon dipped in Borax to scrub the stain. Rinse.)
~ I’m a big fan of cheesy sauces, but not so much the gunky messes they leave in the pot. To clean pots that seem beyond the powers of ordinary cleaning, fill to the top of the messy part with water, and add a teaspoon of dishwashing powder. Bring to a boil on the stove, and then lower heat to minimum and simmer for 30 minutes or as long as it takes to lift all solids from the pot. (It may take as long as a few hours for severely burned pots.)
~ Declare your home an allergen-free zone by getting rid of all those scented candles, deodorizing sprays and oils. Many are chemical-laden – but they do smell nice. To replace them, simmer a few cinnamon sticks, cloves, cranberries and orange peels on the back of the stove. Heavenly – and completely chemical free.
~ Addicted to those expensive fabric fresheners? Replace them inexpensively with a mixture of a litre of water, ½ cup baking soda and a cap of fabric softener. (Leave out the baking soda and you’ll get an equivalent of the bottled wrinkle removers.) Mix in a spray bottle and refresh away. (Always test liquids in an inconspicuous spot before using.)
~ Is your carpet less than fresh? Let’s face it – they’re all less than fresh. With rare exception, the new ones leak chemical gases and those that have been around for a while harbour dust and dust mites. To minimize all the hazards, sprinkle baking soda liberally over traffic areas, shuffle around in some old socks to distribute into the pile, leave overnight and then vacuum. (This also works on upholstered furniture – just put the socks on your hands.)
~ Keep those worn out cotton socks to spot clean your tile and linoleum floor in minutes. Just spray the vinegar/water mixture on spots, let it rest a minute while you slip off your usual socks and into the worn ones, and then slide around until the floor looks clean. Rinse the socks under hot water, throw them in the washing machine with the next load of laundry, and re-use again and again. (Tip: A great sound track can make this clean-up even more fun – but remember that wet socks make any floor slippery, and be careful.) Used cotton socks also make great dusters for hard-to-dust items such as blinds and collectibles when slipped over your hands.
~ Swiffer products are great, but they’re expensive to refill and come with chemicals. If you have a Swiffer dust mop, cut up a towel that’s seen better days in a slightly larger size than the refill cloths, and slip the corners into the refill slots. You can use this dry for dust or wet to mop up quickly. Rinse and wash with your regular laundry.
~ Try using a 1/3 cup baking soda along with ½ the usual amount of your laundry detergent. Depending on your water, you may find you get cleaner, fresher clothes for less money and with less environmental impact.
~ If you use softener sheets in your dryer, use each sheet for two loads.
~ Cut down on your laundry by giving each family members two towels in their personal colour and two hooks to hang them on. Hide all the other towels, and let them know that towels will be laundered weekly. You may be amazed at how quickly your children learn to hang up their towels after using the funky-smelling one they left on a floor once or twice.
If these formulas don’t work for you, don’t give up. Do a Google search for ‘natural cleaners’ and check www.stretcher.com for different formulas – you’ll find one that works with your water and workload.
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A simple, merry Christmas
Do you feel a bit anxious each time the holidays are mentioned? If so, you aren’t alone. The demands on our time and bank account at Christmas are more stressful than at any other time of the year, and that stress can significantly undermine our joy.
If you’re ready for a change, consider applying “the power of one.” Rather than having a long list of gifts, events, treats, meals and parties to contend with, pick your favourite in each category, and enjoy it to the fullest.
If you have a family, this can require quite a culture shift, but you might be amazed at how quickly kids embrace the possibility of a simple, family-focused Christmas. At our church this Sunday, the teachers asked the Sunday school children to talk about their favourite Christmas moments, and not one of them talked about gifts. Instead, they talked about being able to spend time with family, extended family and friends.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful, then, if we could carve away all of the other stuff and come together, relaxed and rested, to be present for each other?
Try this four-step plan to take you there:
1. Calculate how much you can afford to spend this Christmas on gifts. (Don’t forget that you’ll also be paying for food treats, party wear, transportation and accommodation if you’re travelling, cards and postage, and entertaining.)
2. Serve the season’s first shortbread with warm cider or hot chocolate at a family meeting. Explain that in years past, you’ve spent more than you could afford, and felt overwhelmed and exhausted because of all the commitments you’ve made, and that this year is going to be about enjoying each other. Let your loved ones know that they’ll each receive one special gift, and tell them how much you can afford to spend on that gift. Then let them decide how the money will be spent. (They might even decide to donate it to a favourite charity, but my children have usually asked for cash that they can spend during the after-Christmas sales.)
3. Choose one Christmas event you’d like to see as a family. For me, our local choral performance of the Messiah is the highlight of the season, but it could be a skating excursion, a visit to a local gallery or museum that offers holiday treats and a special exhibit, or a school concert. Make it as special as you would a family wedding or New Year’s eve out — get dressed up in your best, have a light but special dinner before you go out, and celebrate after with hot chocolate and cookies.
4. Choose the one holiday meal you’ll cook. If you make a big Christmas dinner, for example, make sure that breakfast is simple (fruit and toaster waffles with whipped cream?) and that someone else cooks on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. For the meal itself, consider choosing the one vegetable and one dessert you really love – and foregoing the three vegetable dishes and two kinds of pie you normally make.
Here are some other ‘ones’ you may wish to choose:
~ What one party will you attend? There may be 16 to choose from, but unless you’re a social butterfly with lots of energy, you don’t have to attend them all.
~ What one charity will you contribute to?
~ What one day of the week will you eat anything you want? You’ll be able to refuse the endless rounds of chocolates, home-baked goodies and cocktails if you know that you only have to wait until Friday.
~ If you traditionally exchange gifts with friends or extended family, consider suggesting this money-and-planet-saving alternative: choose one lovely something that you already own to give as a gift. You probably have something precious you’ve tired of or outgrown that you know they’d love. (In Lebanon, a gift is seen to become more precious each time it changes hands, carrying the love of each person it has belonged to along to the new owner.)
~ What one healthy habit will you adopt for the holiday season? It might be a 15-minute walk at lunch, putting a litre of water on your desk at work to drink during the day or eating a piece of fruit at 3 o’clock. Balance the season’s excess with a little self-discipline and you’ll feel more energized throughout.
~ For women only: Consider reducing your girlfriend get-togethers to ‘one’ party-wear swap celebration. We’ve all got expensive, beautiful things in our closet that we’ll never wear again. Invite everyone to bring all the finery they’re willing to part with, an appetizer, a favourite holiday music CD and something bubbly to drink. Swap, dish, nosh and enjoy! (Fellows, you could do the same thing with a tool and electronic-toy swap, but if you’re like my guy, you’re content to view the holidays as a spectator sport and just show up where you’re invited.)
Whatever you do to celebrate this year, I wish you just the right amount of merriment!
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Thanks for reading, and for joining us on the Financial Serenity path.I’ll leave you with my mission statement, from Gandhi:We must be the change we wish to see in the world.That’s our aim: to do what we can to ensure that money is not the obstacle that stands between you and being that which you wish to see more of in the world.
I wish you the happiest of holidays, whatever that looks like for you, and abundant Financial Serenity throughout.
With very best wishes,
Lori Bamber
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